… But, unfort… — February 26, 2014
Marriage — February 10, 2014


Yeah, marriage. Can you Imagine I write about this topic? I don’t even graduate yet, and I’m already talking about it now. I’m just like, “Wow, Nai! I’m really… speechless.”

I’ve been thinking about this “marriage” lately. Maybe because how much wedding invitation I got on Facebook. But why now? I absolutely got an invitation before. Yeah, that’s true, but the different thing this time is this invitation come from my coeval friends. Some of it was from senior of course, but they’re not more than five years than me.

Well, marriage for me is a very very big step in life. I just can’t understand why one person decide to spend his/her entire life with just one other person, who was stranger. Okay, they are not stranger anymore, but, again, how can you be so sure? After, what, like 5 or 7 years, in average, since you first met. For special cases, there are couples who were childhood friends (or know each other more than 10 years before marriage) and there are couples who were college or coworkers or even complete stranger who know each other for less than 5 years. And there are even less than 2 years. Less than a year! I can understand childhood couple’s cases but the next one? The stranger couples? I don’t think so.

When I began questioning, usually for the second case couples, I got answers like, “When it’s right, it’s right!” or “I just know that s/he is the one” or “We’re in love” or “We know that we were made for each other”. And I’m like “What?”. I mean, that’s the most obscure thing I’ve ever heard. It’s so sentimental. And what make you so sure that s/he is the right one? You just know each other for less than five years! And there’s no rational evident to proof your reason. And when you realize that s/he is not the one, then what? Divorce? It’s okay when you don’t have kids. But when you do? Is that so easy for people to marry and divorce and marry and divorce again?

I’m an agreeable person. I mean I’m not complaining so much. I live in poor country and my family is an below average income family. We even can’t afford my college tuition. I pay my tuition with scholarship money. You can imagine how not glamorous my life style is. I usually look at something for what it can be used. I cross check my needs and my fund, and I’m not complaining. If I can’t afford something, then I’ll find other thing that can replace it. Or make it my self, if I can. But for something that I can achieve, for what I’m sure I have a chance, I put very high standard on my self. Like when I decided where college to go, I chose the best college for science, art and technology in this country. And I got in. And the same goes to husband.

I don’t have divorce issue in my family, if you’re wondering. Although, I did lost my mom when I was eight due to complication of several diseases. But I’m not a marriage-phobia. I just want everything to be perfect, if it can be. If I can push it to be perfect, if I have choices. Marriage for me is a big deal, a life time deal. I just want to be sure that I won’t be making wrong choice. Damn, that person will accompany you for a life time, dude! It’s sure you will get bored one time. And I’m pretty easy to get bored. And that what scare me. And that what am I wondering to the second case couples. Does this question never pop up in their mind?

I read a post about marriage that said marriage is not about you and your happiness, it’s about your partner and their happiness. You marry someone when you’re really sure want to make them happy, not the other way around. Maybe this thing that make me have a pathetic way of looking on marriage. I’m still thinking about me, what is the advantage for me, what are they offering me, and so on. I know I am an egoistical person, haha. That’s because I’m smart. Smart people tend to be egoist, hehe. But, I don’t think I will change that part of me and I feel marriage doesn’t suit me. But I don’t wanna have life style that have no commitment, like American’s and European life style. I’m way too religious than them. Not a fanatic one, but still.

Obviously, I wanna get married someday. But will I survive? Or will I just surrender by social norm? I don’t know. I have no idea.

Just when I won… — February 7, 2014
Peeta Mellark —

Peeta Mellark

I’m in love with this character. Clearly, I am. Hahaha

Yeah, well, I’m one of those Hunger Games’s fans. I love reading books, especially fiction. But, I knew Hunger Games from it’s movies first then it’s books. After I watched The Hunger Games movie, I like character Peeta Mellark more than Gale Hawthorne. Girls usually like Gale more than Peeta. Yeah, I know Liam Hemsworth is kinda dreamy, haha. But I don’t. I don’t know why but I could see there’s something more in Peeta that was not covered by the movie. I usually attract to something or someone like that. Things that others don’t notice, but have more value than the popular one. Of course, I mean in real life too.

And, as usually, my gut is right. When I started reading the books, I knew character Peeta better. And he was one of the true kindness that existed. Well, at least in books, hehe. He was one of those people that did good things just because they couldn’t do bad things. They did good things because they wanted to do it, no motive at all. He was sincere. He demanded nothing in return. At all. And I think that was what made Katniss fell in love with him. And also do I, haha. :p

I usually burst into tears when I read the part where Peeta told how much he cared about Katniss or showed his love to her. It was so pure that no one could deny how true and big his love was. He never told how much he loved Katniss. He just showed. But I think that is what really count. I read Twilight Saga as well, and Edward Cullen’s love is the biggest love I had ever known before I knew Peeta. Edward sometimes showed his egoistical side which Peeta never did. Peeta was not only kind to Katniss. He was kind to everyone. But he was ready to confront any dangers that threatened the one he loved. And for me, it is more noble than what Edward did. I never fall for Edward, but I do fall for Peeta.

Lee Donghae — February 4, 2014

Lee Donghae

Kaget ya gue juga suka korea? Hahahaha. Well, I did. I don’t like them now hehe. Not anymore.

Gue dulu suka boyband korea cuma Super Junior (Suju). Kenapa? Karena dance-nya paling gampang ditiru, hehe. Dan karena gue suka Lee Donghae 🙂 . Gue ngikutin K-Pop emang cuma gara-gara dance-nya doang. Lagunya gue ga suka, honestly. Liriknya alay booo.

Diantara ke-13 anggota Suju, gue paling suka Lee Donghae karena gue suka banget dancing style-nya. Biasanya penggemar Suju lebih suka style-nya Eunhyuk, tapi menurut gue Eunhyuk nge-dance nya lebay. Kalo Donghae lebih alami gitu deh. Tambah lagi, Donghae manly gitu nge-dance nya.

Biasanya, fans Suju ga me-recognize Donghae. Kenapa? Donghae memang termasuk top 3 Suju yang jago nge-dance, tapi suaranya ga bagus-bagus amat. Jadi dia ga sering kebagian jatah nyanyi dan ga sering disorot di MV (music video) clip mereka. Trus, tampang Donghae bukan jadi favorit cewe-cewe. Secara fisik, gue sih paling suka Lee Donghae. Tapi kalo fans Suju kebanyakan lebih suka Siwon atau ga Kyuhyun. Kalau suara, fans kebanyakan milih Kyuhyun, Yesung atau Ryeowook. Tapi justru ini yang bikin gue semakin suka Donghae. Gue emang suka yang tidak begitu populer, tapi sebenernya punya nilai lebih dibanding yang populer, haha.

Donghae manly-nya ga cuma pas nge-dance, style fashion-nya pun manly. Body language-nya pun manly. Dibandingin Donghae, Kangin emang lebih manly siih. Tapi yang gue suka dari Donghae adalah kombinasi dari semua yang udah gue tulis tadi. If there’s another Donghae in my real life, I might have fall for him, hahaha :p .

Artis-artis korea, cewe atau cowo, biasanya sok-sok imut gitu kan? Nah, si Donghae beda. Dia ga sok imut. Dan ga sering selfie. Kalo gugling foto-fotonya, pasti kebanyakan dapetnya foto dengan ekspresi alami. Jarang yang dibuat-buat. Sok keren ataupun sok imut. Dan gue suka itu. Menurut gue, Donghae itu keren dan manly, ga imut.

Namun itu dulu. Segalanya berubah setelah negara api menyerang, hahaha.

Ya, itu benar sekali. Namun yang gue maksud dengan “negara api” adalah album Suju yang berjudul “Sexy, Free and Single”. Album ini keluar tahun 2012. Tema yang diusung SM (label Suju) untuk album ini adalah Beautiful Man. Dan entah kenapa, Donghae dijadiin “maskot”. Dia dikasih banyak porsi buat nyanyi dan dia sering disorot pas dancing. Efeknya, fans jadi me-recognize Donghae dan baru menyadari how adorable he is. Trus jadi banyak deh yang suka Donghae.

Awalnya gue males doang siih gara-gara udah banyak aja yang suka Donghae. Gue seakan-akan pengen bilang, “Where have you been, guys?” . Trus dengan semakin banyaknya fans Donghae, Donghae nya mulai berubah. Dulu, Donghae jarang banget update twitter. Kalo update pun, dia ga ngepost foto-foto selfie-nya. Nah sekarang? Hampir tiap hari dia update foto selfie nya dengan tampang sok imut. Style-nya juga berubah. Kalo dulu manly, kalo sekarang hipster. And I hate him because all of that.

Akhirnya, gue ga ngefollow twitter-nya lagi, gue ga ngikutin Suju lagi, dan gue berhenti jadi fans K-Pop. Ini deh coba cek before-after nya Donghae.




Those all are ju… — February 2, 2014
I can get easil… — February 1, 2014
My nightmares a… —